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Dear Metro: "I'm an introvert and my job is sapping up all my social energy"

Robinson is back for another week of advice

Dear Metro: I'm an introvert and my job is sapping up all my social energy

Mar 4, 2020 Society

Dear Metro is being guest written again this week by Robinson, a New Zealand singer-songwriter who after living in London for most of 2019, is back home in New Zealand to celebrate the release of her debut EP Watching You

In March, Robinson will head on her first-ever headline tour in Australia/New Zealand – including a set at Homegrown Music Festival on Saturday March 21st.

Read last week’s Dear Metro, on falling out with friends and feeling sad about the world (huge mood).

Got a problem? Send your woes to:

Dear Robinson,

I’m a songwriter and one of the members I’ve asked to play live with me is struggling to learn the songs/keep up musically. Is it too ruthless to tell them I need to find someone else?

Counting the Beat

Hi there!

I can imagine this is hard for you to know what to do, with the conflict between doing what’s best for your music and trying to save someone feelings. However, this is about your music and live performance can be nerve-wracking enough without not feeling 100% confident in the people supporting you on stage. Firstly, I’d give the person the chance to practise more and let them know what they’re doing which could be improved as this will be beneficial to their musicianship too.

However, if this is still not working then you have to put the music first on this one and kindly let them know it isn’t working out. Remember this isn’t personal, it’s ultimately business and if you’re not happy with someone in your band… that purely comes down to quality and how you want to sound on stage just as it would with any industry.

Robinson x

Hey Robinson!

I have to socialise quite a bit outside of office hours as part of my job, and I’m increasingly finding it difficult to find time for my actual friends and actual fun – and since I’m a natural introvert, when I do have time, I just feel too tired and tell people I can’t hang out.

I know that I will be happier if I make the time to spend time with people I like, but how do I separate work and personal time when the lines blur so much?

Busy but Lonely

Hi there!

Is there any way you could put a cap on how much you socialise as a part of your job or is it necessary? I think it’s all about finding a balance but I understand this can be hard if it comes along with your job. Our mental health can suffer if we end up tired and run down trying to keep everyone happy.

I think it’s important to still make time for your friends, but to openly communicate with them about where you’re at with work and how it’s making you feel. Maybe that will make them more aware of the types of things you’d like to be doing when you do get the chance to see them and finding more relaxing things to do.

I understand being a natural introvert it can be easy to just want to spend time alone when you’ve finally got free time but try and find a balance of some days being alone on the time off and some days making time for your friends as you did suggest you know you’ll be happier… sometimes it can just be forcing ourselves to do it.

Robinson x

Got a problem? Send your woes to:


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Metro N°442 is Out Now.

In the Autumn 2024 issue of Metro we celebrate the best of Tāmaki Makaurau — 100 great things about life in Auckland, including our favourite florist, furniture store, cocktail, basketball court, tree, make-out spot, influencer, and psychic. The issue also includes the Metro Wine Awards, the battle over music technology company Serato, the end of The Pantograph Punch, the Billy Apple archives, a visit to Armenia, viral indie musician Lontalius, the state of fine dining, and the time we bombed West Auckland to kill a moth. Plus restaurants, movies, politics, astrology, and more.

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