Lockdown! It's been going on for six days now, but at this point aren't constructs like days and weeks just an artifact from the Before Time? Now there is only the endless present and the question of how to fill it. This is how the Metro team are wiling away their days.
Something to Watch: Lauren Servideo is objectively the funniest person on the internet. Sunday afternoon I started watching her character videos on Instagram, 4 hours later the sun was setting and I hadn’t moved unless you count all the cackling I was doing whilst in the foetal position. Some highlights include her Greta Gerwig impression and her palm leaf typing videos. One of her character’s ‘Ethan’s Mom’ now has it’s own face filter. When someone is that funny they should automatically be given 1 million dollars. It was very inspiring- maybe isolation means it’s time to stop putting off all that character workshopping we’ve been avoiding. – Alessandra Banal
Something to listen to: A couple of years ago, every YouTuber and their cat got into ASMR (which stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) and then everyone and their cat decided it was weird and sexual and cancelled. I’m here to make the case that it’s good, actually – it’s like when someone is brushing your hair, or when you get your hair washed at the salon, and I stopped thinking about the weirdness of it all too deeply once I realised how much it helps me sleep. Some people experience “tingles” – this crackling sensation in your brain that travels down your body. Very enjoyable, tbh. I prefer non-talking videos, when it’s just sounds – tapping, crinkling. If you’ve never given it a go, put off by the strange concept of someone talking into your ear, this is a great time to try it, when anxiety levels are high, your sleep schedule is all fucked, and you don’t know why even though you can’t leave the house, your brain won’t turn off. My favourite ASMR artist (ASMRtist for short, yeah I know) is ASMR Zeitgeist, and this is a great non-talking video (especially good if any form of talking weirds you out) to start off with. Put your headphones on, ignore any preconceptions you have about it, and relax away. – Jean Teng
Something to watch: I’ve watched Top Chef since season one. I don’t think I’ve missed an episode in 14 years (though I, of course, haven’t always caught them live as they air). Not that it’s the best show ever – it’s not – but it’s always mixed comfort, drama, intense characters, handy food tips, visual deliciousness and LOL fails. It’s one of those increasingly rare reality shows where the contestants are actually all super talented and accomplished and the judges even more so. What’s not to like? With everyone cooking all the time now, it’s perfect lockdown viewing and a new season has just started so there’s never been a better time to dive in. Episode one is on YouTube now and episode two aired on Friday night. To watch further, you’ll need to join Hulu or figure it out somehow. I’m sure you’ll find a way. – Henry Oliver