Cafe trends you wish would die
“Edison bulbs”
“Putting a smoothie in a bowl rather than a glass does not make it a new category of food, nor is it any healthier.”
“When there are no dogs around that day.”
“Cutlery wrapped in a soggy paper napkin. Why?”
“Adding an inch-deep cinnamon dusting to my coffee without asking #spiceupyourlife!”
“‘Lifestyle’ bloggers hitting up Eighthirty High Street with amateur photo shoots, complete with multiple seat and outfit changes.”
“Serving the food in hats instead of on plates.”
“No Coffee News available.”
“Coffee News available.”
“Elaborate donut constructions.”
“Eggs on toast that cost more than $10.90.”
“Words of inspiration written on pavement chalkboards. Shut up! I just want a coffee.”
“Some grubby old man walking around the place pulling girls’ ponytails.”
“Giving toddlers megaphones to play with.”
“‘Smashed’ avocado. It’s just avocado.”
“When your food arrives and everything is perfect but it doesn’t fill the emptiness inside and doesn’t numb the pain.”
“No complaints, I am just SO joyful someone made me some food, overcharged me for it & I don’t have to listen to teens squabble about dishes.”
This article originally appeared in the November/December 2016 edition of Metro magazine.
