Frankly Finding Dory was less irritating

I wanted to see The Lure because it had mermaids in it. I did not know it was a musical. What’s worse than your bog-standard mainstream musical? A Polish musical that has the nonsensical musical lyrics translated into English. Subtitled musicals are worse than non-subtitled musicals.

More Emily Writes at NZIFF: The worst hotel to the best handmaiden – AKA the day I learned #NZIFF films are dirty as

I know with the New Zealand International Film Festival I’m meant to be expanding my mind and stuff but The Lure was just – I have a line okay? And my line is Polish mermaid musicals where the women are inexplicably naked in some 80s disco hellscape.

I have a line okay? And my line is Polish mermaid musicals where the women are inexplicably naked in some 80s disco hellscape.

They didn’t even kill enough men. And there were random characters that appeared out of nowhere and their purpose and presence was never explained which was really annoying. There were also many women with peroxide perms and I couldn’t tell them apart. But I don’t think that mattered.

I did have a chocolate cookie with coffee gelato and it was really nice even though it cost more than my last car repayment.

The Lure: 3/10
Ice cream cookie: 7/10

 

The Lure, Auckland: Thursday 28th July, 9.30pm, The Civic. Wellington: Thursday 4th August, 9.30pm, Embassy Theatre. nziff.co.nz

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